This is really not the right line of work for me. It plays into my fear of not being taken seriously, my completely depleted capacity to manage stress, and the overwhelming revolt I cannot suppress when facing any form of bureaucracy.
That being said, there’s really nothing else I can possibly do because, well, what needs to happen needs to happen. When Brick by Brick’s live-in community center starts setting up its food security initiatives, develops programming for young residents and frees up their mom’s time, and when we’re offering relevant learning opportunities free of charge to low-income people in the area, all of this agonising prep will be forgotten.
That’s one way of looking at it. But in this world everything that happens in time leaves an eternal mark. If I suffer now for tomorrow, then I will always live in convalescence. Perhaps I am starting to realise what it really means to appreciate the journey. The destination is not a real place; it is just a steering wheel. If you’re always looking at your steering wheel you will crash, fast. And here’s the kicker: if you know where you’re going but can focus on where you are, then you can step on the gas.
A lot of what I’m working on is the result of demands placed upon our organization by bankers, lawyers, and bureaucrats: people who are individually or institutionally averse to our vision. I need to remember that we are working on their level in order to attain our objective. If this road is too treacherous, I will take a detour because as far as I am concerned it does not lead to where I want to go. I really don’t mind the scenic route.
On that note: